trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
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