so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
we should paint friendship bongs
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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