Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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