and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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