It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
