Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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