So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
