she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
