If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
