**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
