Having a random hookup so left but love u
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
A bitchslap is in order.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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