Me. At least after what I've been through.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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