im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Randomize
