HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize