idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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