My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
