Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
