im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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