I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Randomize
