out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
