sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You pole danced in your parka.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
