I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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