Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize