It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
