Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
