I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
