Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
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