She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
