mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
