The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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