The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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