You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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