I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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