...so i touched it.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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