thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I love you. Go after that dick
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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