My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I am one with the molecules
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
