so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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