I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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