I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize