I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
