does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
