oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
