I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
