yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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