I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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