i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
