well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
