I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
