just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
