I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
