some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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