where am i from again
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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