so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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