You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Let's paint friendship bongs
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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