if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
