I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
