Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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