why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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