I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I wish I only lived at night.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
