just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
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