Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
