my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
