How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
