covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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