Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
