Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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