My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
